Blog Entry "survey time" from IA? EH.

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Got a "messaging and branding" survey in the mail. The following are some of the questions and some of my answers.

"Please read the following product description in order to complete the final section of the survey.

'CompanyName is an online tool that enables companies to analyze purchase decisions drivers of startups by service area, geography and buyer characteristics. Using this powerful Web-based tool, companies can generate both standard and customized research reports from proprietary data. This information will help them gain a better understanding about the high-growth venture marketplace.'

Do you feel you have a clear understanding of what the product does?

What if anything do you like the MOST about the product?

I know you are a product for companies rather than human beings. Perhaps a comapany for VC? Anyhow I know to stay away.

What if anything do you like the LEAST about the product?

I'm still wondering what kind of companies? What kind of services? It seems like snake oil to me. Why do you think this phrase is okay: "to analyze purchase decisions drivers of startups."

What the sam-hill is a 'purchase decisions driver'? Why don't you just say "helps companies make informed decisions when purchasing?"

Go explain what you do to your mom. When she understands you're ready.

addendum: there is an amazing comment by tony burgess on this post taking me to task-- and he's right on. read it!

Posted at July 18, 2001 05:27 PM

What I want to know, is what is a 'sam hill'?

Posted by Matt at July 18, 2001 06:33 PM

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hey, as long as we're shooting the fish in the barrel let's fry one up. i'm hungry. i spent all my money on shoes.

Posted by Mike at July 19, 2001 12:14 AM

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can I borrow your shoes?

Posted by christina at July 19, 2001 01:29 AM

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here is a tool to help you sell your design/IA services to startups by helping you understand why they buy what they do, and you want to stay away?

Posted by eric at July 19, 2001 05:26 AM

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Is that what they do? Thanks! Perhaps they should hire you, Eric.

Posted by christina at July 19, 2001 08:30 AM

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Actually, Sam Hill is a lakefront restaurant in Austin. Didn't you know?

Posted by Rebecca at July 19, 2001 10:42 AM

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Oops, there went my morning. A highly effective Web-based interactive rant-induction and productivity-avoidance solution... ;o)

Posted by Tony Burgess at July 19, 2001 01:18 PM

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boy, that'll teach me to be facile.

Posted by Christina at July 19, 2001 04:03 PM

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Those things that drive us to do what we do.

Posted by eric at July 20, 2001 04:34 AM

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And I thought "purchase decision driver" was something I could install on Windows and which would probably break later when I tried to print.

Posted by Andrew at July 20, 2001 08:34 AM

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Okay, that bit was un-called-for. I couldn't help myself...

Posted by Jaeson Paul at July 20, 2001 11:45 AM

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Actually, Sam-Hill is the name of the street where all the Bullshit-VC firms are getting suckered into wasting their time and money by CompanyName.

Posted by stevev at July 23, 2001 02:07 PM

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wording stolen by the more-eloquent-than-I kottke
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